I'm taking it as a sign of growth, that the past few days that the brain has been objecting loudly to EVERYTHING. Telling me I can't do this, it's too hard, it was easier the old way...the one that comes up a lot is, "you felt in control the old way"
HAH That's the dead giveaway right there. I realized that was not ME talking today when I read Calorie Restriction as Emotional Distraction by @MisheMarie.
That was WtLoss Cathy talking I guess...she feels very out of control right now. And she should, because I'm doing things differently than she'd like. I'm pushing through the fear and trying to just LIVE with it, until my body and I learn to trust again..until we get better aquainted. Every day that I get on that scale (still failing #30daynoscale challenge) and it says a number that I LOATHE and that I FEAR, and I continue to choose to eat right (not restrict) and rest (if I need it), or workout (not excessively) then I am taking a step closer to being totally front and center and SHE will be totally out of control.
Yesterday that meant going for a quick walk in the middle of the day to shake off my coworker's comments. Last night that meant just giving up on #fitblog and going to bed, because the noise in my head was too loud, because brain & wt loss Cathy were trying to gang up on me and convince me I'm weak, that I can't do this, and that I can't handle it..."you know all this stuff you're feeling right now? all this shame? All this fear? All this anxiety? It will *totally* go away if you just..." (insert: go do some more cardio, cut that apple out of your diet, banana AND milk in that post workout shake, really??)
I know I'm still going to win this...I just needed to say this out loud - this is really hard and scary.
Unrelatedly - today's last sets:
Sumos - 233 x 3
Bench - 77 x 4 (all paused)
Rack Pulls - 248 x 4
And now...I'm pooped. I think I've got to readjust to these kinds of workouts...even though this stuff isn't super heavy, it's just really heavy volume (which I love).
Dinner, then early to bed again, me thinks.