Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Concept of Choice

Sooooo excited to get back to (or "restart" may be the more appropriate word) training for my next meet. I've got a lot of work to do, gotta redeem myself after that last performance!

The knee felt great today after yesterday..I'm not even quite as sore as I expected to be..bonus :) Felt so good I was able to do a CF style workout for myself outside (hooooot out!)

I've got TWO full rest days worked into the plan for the week...they're there as an option to take, or not :)

I KNOW this will sound so very obvious as I talk my way through this right now, but I'm rediscovering "choice." For a long time I repeated "you have the choice" at each meal, each decision, etc - to make the "right choice" to get healthy, to lose the weight, to work out, etc. And that was very true. And I did that...each decision was weighed (har har) and balanced and sometimes I made the "wrong" (read: not as healthy) choice along the way, but all along, I was *living*

Somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing it as a choice, and it became a must, a have to, a one way/only way kind of situation, and I stopped really *living*. Instead of "no thank you, I'd rather have this..." it became simply "I can't" and in many cases, there was a anxiety or fear surrounding whatever the thing was I was declining.

I've made a lot of positive progress with all of this this past week. I know I have a ways to go but I'm getting there.

In that regard, tomorrow starts the 30 day "no-scale" challenge, and I am taking part in my own small way. "Today I'm making the choice to not get on the scale, but if I really really want to, I know I can tomorrow." I've heard Raphael suggest that to folks struggling to stay on their meal plan, or to get to the gym..."I choose to do X just for now, but if I still want to do/eat Y tomorrow (or later), I can." For the scale challenge, it's really the same thing that I'm trying to do with food, just sort of opposite. If that makes sense to anyone but myself ;)

These things always seem so simple when someone else gives you permission to do them ;)

ANYWAY - all that to say, I'll weigh myself tomorrow if I want, and then we'll take it day by day after that. I think this holds a lot of promise :)

For anyone waiting on the edge of their seat to hear (hah), my date last night went pretty well :) We met for drinks (I had a glass of red wine) and we talked for almost 3 hours (waaaaaaaay past my bedtime). He texted me late last night and thanked me, and called me this afternoon for a quick chat. There's definitely a second date in our future, which I think speaks for itself, since I NEVER go on second dates! Not sure when it will be, but...details. We'll work it out.