Back Online!

Had a temporary hiatus from the use of the internet at home and just wasn't able to get this stuff posted. Here's how the week has gone so far:

Sunday: UB/Abs + 40 cardio
Monday: 30 cardio
Tuesday: Legs(squat) + 20cardio (Squat PR: 155 x 12)
Wednesday: Chest/back (bench) + 20 cardio (Tied bench PR: 105 x 8)
Thursday: abs + 35 cardio

But here's the Venty/Crazy stuff: I'm ridiculously frustrated with myself looking at my behavior and my internal thinking this week. There's a lot of cardio in there, way more than usual, and this is my heaviest week this training cycle. That makes no sense, clear as day on paper.

In my head of course it's a different story - not so clear. My head is freaking over the weight, and obviously - I'm acting on it. And I've wondered why I'm so tired. Not sleeping since before I left for NYC/VA isn't helping, but I'm beating myself up this week with reduced cals, heavy lifting and all that cardio.

I always do this, I *react* (and badly) to my weight fluctuations by doing stuff like this. I set a goal of going from 141.2 (post NYC/VA wt) to 138 by this Sunday 4/18, and then another 2 weeks to get back to 135 - totally sensible and achievable and I was ahead of it! I was 138.0 on Tuesday and 137.6 yesterday and then today, for no good reason i can see - 138.4 So instead of resting like I planned, I reacted and I got on the elliptical (and cried, because I was tired, and I knew I was doing something stupid that would likely have no relevance on my weight tomorrow and even if it did - so what, I'm ahead of schedule for crying out loud). Because obviously 30 minutes of cardio is going to change my life? WTF?! I'm pretty p-o'd at myself for that - between the disconnect or the refusal to listen or whatever it is - that my brain KNOWS better and yet I still instead react to stuff that doesn't matter. I promised myself I would trust myself, that I would not DO that anymore. I need to grow and get over this kind of thing.

I'm overtired. The good thing is that in taking some time off for the internet guy to come today, I got some rest. I relaxed by the pool AND I had a short little nap (which I needed - softball tonight on top of everything else). I do feel a little better, and a little more sane so I know it helped. Tomorrow is leg day again (deads) and NO cardio, and Saturday needs to be totally OFF. That's the plan. I'm allowed rest!

Another friend of mine recommended accupuncture to me again - for the sleep issues. It's been recommended many times by various people, but I gave in today and I called the place. Unfortunately they were closed, I left a msg but they haven't called back. I promised I would give it a try though, so I will follow up with them tomorrow. It certainly can't hurt, right?

Here's some vid highlights from the week:

Squat (Tuesday 4/13, 155 x 12)


Bench (Wednesday 4/14, 105 x 8)