Thursday, September 9, 2010


I'm so slacking here and I'm feeling like a total slacker not keeping up but...really it's just been a whirlwind few weeks!

My training continues, that is still on track. It's just been the time to get here and write it up, upload the videos, etc...not so much of that has been happening. I'd like to say that I'm making progress, and in some ways I think i very much am, but in other ways - I just plain don't know.

I emailed Dave last week (I think? Right now it all runs together) and asked how we measure progress with this training approach - how do we know it's working? No real answer...which of course makes me rather nervous. What I have found is that I don't feel this is a very balanced program, and so I've adapted it a little to better suit my needs. I understand the concept of training specificity, but I do believe there's a time and a place to for accessory/assistance work. I also strongly believe that no one program is a one-size-fits-all program, and some adaptation is necessary. I guess I was hoping that he would help me with that, but...

The bank/mortgage fiasco continues. Last week I made an attempt to get help from NACA and that totally failed for reasons that I really can't even get into without completely losing my mind and inciting myself into a bit of a rage ;)

Work is crazy busy and with this big event coming up at the end of September I do feel like it's time to kick up the wt loss...I've been trying to stay centered and calm about it but the time is ticking away now and I've made no progress since my initial loss from dropping the cals. Which...I dunno..that drop was probably solely related to stress relief not so much the calories and well..maybe that's why now I'm not losing. But at this point, I've got not even quite 3 weeks, I'd like at least 5 to go and ideally like 8 to 10 but I know that's not realistic :( So tired of this :( I've not dropped calories further from where I did a few weeks ago, and I have finally worked the macros over to those that Christie suggested (40/40/20) - so I AM learning that my body can trust the carbs (cuz holy cow I don't remember the last time i was on like 170-175g!). It still all takes constant thought and intention...if I don't plan and plan and plan and keep it at the forefront of my mind, my cals (carbs specifically) drop.

Had a conversation with my counselor (the other one, not Christie) yesterday about what defines "recovery." She says it's not that these thoughts will ever really fully go away, but they become less intense, and they don't determine my behavior and drive my choices.

Ok then.

Otherwise, things are going along. I'm slightly sleepless again these days, but doing pretty well with that.

I may have some news to share in the next week or so :) Well I will have news, the maybe part is when I can share it :)


  1. I hope you can share soon... I'm nosy! :)

  2. I'm glad to see you haven't dropped your cals further, and that your training is still on track. I hope you don't take your counselor's comment as being too pessimistic. Its hard for any of "us" to completely "let go" in the society we live in. I don't think I ever was so far "over the edge" as you but ,I went pretty far. And now, it really is something I can put out of my mind most of the time, and put in its place pretty quickly when it does rear up.

    With all those smiley, I guess your news is good news. ;-)

    ~ Coco