Met with Christie yesterday and she was pleased with my choices this past week, and the observations I made about my hunger, satiety, energy, and fatigue. We spoke about options...whether I keep things as is or increase back up...
I asked if she thought there was any risk to me keeping things where they are while I'm trying to learn to better identify and listen to these cues. It's harder for me to identify them (either positively or negatively) at the higher level, and she thought as long as I actually RESPONDED to fatigue and hunger then it'd be ok.
She does still want me to try to vary my meals a little more, we talked about bringing at least one alternative meal component each day (a wrap versus brown rice, for instance). I can do that...
So....yup. Ok. I can do this.
Yesterday was squat and bench day - squats were faaaaabulous and I'm really happy with how things are progressing there. I ended my workout with one big set, 135 x 14 :) I had a few more in me I think...a big change for me...I'm actually starting to *like* squats!
This morning it was Best Body Boot Camp (Advanced Camp). Much fun :) My weight has remained the same since Wednesday until today, I bumped up a half pound, but I'm ok with that since I woke up with my period this morning. Which is sweet! Not normally something I'm super psyched about (heh) but...last time it took 7 weeks, this time 5.5 weeks...maybe I'm on my way to a more normal cycle and maybe that means all my girly bits work!
Tomorrow is another squat/bench/squat day...hope the quads are feeling a little more recovered than they are today :)
Wednesday night I've got a massage and Thursday a good friend of mine from college that I haven't seen in like...well it's been so long we can't quite tell but...a LONG time, is coming to visit through Sunday. We're gonna hit up Lion Country Safari on Friday (cuz I took a day *off* SUPAH DUPAH long weekend!) and then get some snorkeling action in on Saturday. I'm really looking forward to seeing him, I think we're gonna have a blast :)
And with that...it's pumpkin time...headed to bed.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Wow...6 Days?
I don't think I've ever gone this long without a post, but things have been hectic and I needed some room to breathe and time to collect and plan. I still need that, but it's time to resurface...
Last week I mentioned dropping my calories and the whole to-do around that. The weight started coming off immediately...was it stress or the calories? Hard to tell. Probably a combination of both. Friday I was 149.4 and by Wednesday I was down to 144.2. I actually took a rest day on Wednesday - I just did about 45 mins of light yoga.
Training on Thursday....deadlifts. Yum!
Started with Rack Pulls, then on to Bench, and then some Deads.
I REALLY needed that sort of totally aggressive physical/mental release of RAWRRRRR yesterday so when I was done with my training workout, I did
255 x 10:
Not technically a PR (best was 11 while doing 5-3-1 program ). However, that was after doing only 2 sets of 5. This was after all those rack pulls, alll that benching and db pressing, and then after the regular deadlifts. I say, crazy PR! ;)
My current program doesn't appear to go higher than 6 reps for any set, and most are around 2-4. Just LOTS of sets. It's also fairly light weight, I think I max at 85% and it never gets heavier. I dunno...I just REALLY needed that, it felt incredible. A great release.
But it wasted me. Wednesday night I had actually started to feel a little tired and a little hungry, but I didn't listen to it then. I still had an amazing workout on Thursday, but really by 9am I was ready to fall over.
I thought, "ok...I need to EAT." I decided I'd go out for dinner later..maybe a steak, or nice burger with fries...Nothing too crazy, but something with more calories than I would normally consume. I knew I *needed* it.
Iactually didn't even make it to last night, I went out at lunch with a coworker and had a cheeseburger (bun and all!) and some steak fries. I felt SO MUCH BETTER after that meal, Raphael commented that my color had returned (I didn't realize it was quite that bad), I could think and focus again, and I slept like a baby last night. I also wasn't stuffed from the meal nor did I feel that gross "insta-bloat" feeling, and I still felt hunger later in the day so my snacks and later meals remained the same (in the past I'd probably have skipped them). I also slept very well last night. And felt guilt free, there were no nasty words from that voice.
I hope with time that I'll be able to identify those signals (and trust them) a little sooner than I was able to this time, but that felt like a big step in the right direction. This morning my weight was the same as yesterday, which just reinforced the goodness.
*deep breath*
I can do this.
I still have some hormone issues to figure out...the Dr isn't on the agenda yet. Christie thinks (and I agree) that it will work itself out as i get this eating thing under control.
A ways to go, but getting there :)
I rested again today, just needed a little more...no cardio, no yoga, nada.
Should make for a strong squat day tomorrow :)
Last week I mentioned dropping my calories and the whole to-do around that. The weight started coming off immediately...was it stress or the calories? Hard to tell. Probably a combination of both. Friday I was 149.4 and by Wednesday I was down to 144.2. I actually took a rest day on Wednesday - I just did about 45 mins of light yoga.
Training on Thursday....deadlifts. Yum!
Started with Rack Pulls, then on to Bench, and then some Deads.
I REALLY needed that sort of totally aggressive physical/mental release of RAWRRRRR yesterday so when I was done with my training workout, I did
255 x 10:
Not technically a PR (best was 11 while doing 5-3-1 program ). However, that was after doing only 2 sets of 5. This was after all those rack pulls, alll that benching and db pressing, and then after the regular deadlifts. I say, crazy PR! ;)
My current program doesn't appear to go higher than 6 reps for any set, and most are around 2-4. Just LOTS of sets. It's also fairly light weight, I think I max at 85% and it never gets heavier. I dunno...I just REALLY needed that, it felt incredible. A great release.
But it wasted me. Wednesday night I had actually started to feel a little tired and a little hungry, but I didn't listen to it then. I still had an amazing workout on Thursday, but really by 9am I was ready to fall over.
I thought, "ok...I need to EAT." I decided I'd go out for dinner later..maybe a steak, or nice burger with fries...Nothing too crazy, but something with more calories than I would normally consume. I knew I *needed* it.
Iactually didn't even make it to last night, I went out at lunch with a coworker and had a cheeseburger (bun and all!) and some steak fries. I felt SO MUCH BETTER after that meal, Raphael commented that my color had returned (I didn't realize it was quite that bad), I could think and focus again, and I slept like a baby last night. I also wasn't stuffed from the meal nor did I feel that gross "insta-bloat" feeling, and I still felt hunger later in the day so my snacks and later meals remained the same (in the past I'd probably have skipped them). I also slept very well last night. And felt guilt free, there were no nasty words from that voice.
I hope with time that I'll be able to identify those signals (and trust them) a little sooner than I was able to this time, but that felt like a big step in the right direction. This morning my weight was the same as yesterday, which just reinforced the goodness.
*deep breath*
I can do this.
I still have some hormone issues to figure out...the Dr isn't on the agenda yet. Christie thinks (and I agree) that it will work itself out as i get this eating thing under control.
A ways to go, but getting there :)
I rested again today, just needed a little more...no cardio, no yoga, nada.
Should make for a strong squat day tomorrow :)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
August 21
So Coco asked me an interesting question - if lowering my calories doesn't result in the weight loss because it's a result of stress not over consumption...what will I do?
Well the answer is really that I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't help. But just feeling like I'm doing everything I can to take care of it already has me feeling ever so slightly less stressed. Maybe that's bad, a sign of just how "distorted" my thinking is, how off my beliefs about myself are. I feel like I have to apologize for it or something, but it is what it is and it's important to me for a variety of reasons right now. I'm not doing it in secret or unsupervised, I emailed Christie and she replied to go ahead and give it a try but suggested a slight tweak to my macros (closer to 40/40/20 instead of my 45/35/20). I guess ultimately if it doesn't help (and probably even if it does), I'll have to see a Dr. to consider adrenal fatigue as Karen suggested, or at the very least to get my girly hormones sorted out.
Today we took one tiny step *away* from the 150, and the spasming in my back has been significantly less. I took other steps today - started looking ahead to what I want to do next, the ever popular "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" question. Tough to imagine since I have this house I'm stuck with, but I'm not sweating the details at this point. Can't, or I'll just be paralyzed in the "what ifs."
Hopefully the back will remain calm tonight, and another good night's sleep will bring with it a little less stress in the morning.
Well the answer is really that I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't help. But just feeling like I'm doing everything I can to take care of it already has me feeling ever so slightly less stressed. Maybe that's bad, a sign of just how "distorted" my thinking is, how off my beliefs about myself are. I feel like I have to apologize for it or something, but it is what it is and it's important to me for a variety of reasons right now. I'm not doing it in secret or unsupervised, I emailed Christie and she replied to go ahead and give it a try but suggested a slight tweak to my macros (closer to 40/40/20 instead of my 45/35/20). I guess ultimately if it doesn't help (and probably even if it does), I'll have to see a Dr. to consider adrenal fatigue as Karen suggested, or at the very least to get my girly hormones sorted out.
Today we took one tiny step *away* from the 150, and the spasming in my back has been significantly less. I took other steps today - started looking ahead to what I want to do next, the ever popular "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" question. Tough to imagine since I have this house I'm stuck with, but I'm not sweating the details at this point. Can't, or I'll just be paralyzed in the "what ifs."
Hopefully the back will remain calm tonight, and another good night's sleep will bring with it a little less stress in the morning.
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